thoughts on the friendzone

wendygirlyoumoveme:

when i was 5 years old my best friend was a boy named kyle who didn’t know how to knock on doors so he made dinosaur noises outside my window to wake me up in the summer until i demonstrated how to ball his fists and slam them against my doors.  we collected caterpillars in my trailer park and built them houses while we traded pokemon cards.  he wasn’t the only one.  there was ben, and mitch, and noah—but kyle’s the only one who hurt me, because when he tried to kiss me and i asked him why, he told me “because you’re a boy and i’m a girl, shouldn’t we like each other?“

i missed him so much and i wondered why he couldn’t just be my friend like he always was

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crossedstirrups: “ hyaena13: “ themoo-n: “ kinkyturtle: “ avri-wallflower: “ sourcedumal: “ Fuck special snowflakes who think like this. Gurl bye Your ass ain’t fucking special because you don’t wear makeup. You’re not fucking better than the woman...
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crossedstirrups:

hyaena13:

themoo-n:

kinkyturtle:

avri-wallflower:

sourcedumal:

Fuck special snowflakes who think like this.

Gurl bye

Your ass ain’t fucking special because you don’t wear makeup.

You’re not fucking better than the woman with large breasts who wears tank tops.

You’re a piece of shit because you are putting sexist stereotypes onto other women in some anti-feminine bullshit.

If you don’t like it, why’d you comment on it? I think it’s awesome and you’re probably one of the girls up there that wears makeup and shortshorts and tiny tanktops. And most kids today wear makeup because they think they aren’t pretty and need it. So deal with it. And get over yourself.

girl bye.

lemme tell you something: I wear tons of fucking make up. I wear short dresses. I walk around with a face that looks about as fake as it can get outside of a fucking barbie doll. and I like it that way. and, despite what you seem to think, no, it’s not because i think i’m ugly. i just fucking like makeup (and trust, i’ve spent years examining my own motivations and how they’re tied to internalized self-hated, fatphobia and misogyny so don’t EVEN cause you don’t know what you’re talking about).

I also read ravenously; engage in discourse regarding philosphy, art, economics, politics, race, gender, sexuality; make subversive art; and love comics and film and music. I’M A FUCKING PERSON IS WHAT I’M SAYING. 

like how fucking deep is this goddamn image when the spine of the book JUST SAYS THE WORD ‘BOOK’.

this kind of bullshit narrative, other than furthering a misogynistic dichotomy that pits women against each other, is also a complete fucking fallacy. A huge majority of average women DON’T DO THIS. you aren’t the lone plain jane in an army of cake-faced, bottle blonde barbies—if you look around, you’ll see that most women just throw on jeans and tops and very little makeup. 

I get that this kind of shit is an attempt to fight back against media-made images of what womanhood is supposed to be. I get it. (thought isn’t it interesting that the “weirdo” in the picture is still thin and conventionally attractive??)

but attacking other women who you perceive as being stupid or carbon copies because of their fucking appearance doesn’t fight back against shit. it actually does EXACTLY what the patriarchy wants us to do—engenders more hatred and competition between women. 

but you know, whatever, continue to think you’re so goddamn special. i’ll be over here reading AND wearing hot pink lipstick and having a hell of a time doing it. 

THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING THING I’VE EVER READ IN THE HISTORY OF EVER

And that is how you tear a fake feminist to shreds. Bravo.

*cheering*

(via carryonmywaywardstirrup)

Source: sourcedumal

reference for writers: alcoholic beverage breakdown

littlegreyfilly:

referenceforwriters:

euclase:

I had a disturbing exchange with a high school-aged person today that prompted this…

  • Beer, wine, mead, and cider are fermented beverages.
  • Mead is made from honey.
  • Cider is made from apples.
  • Beer is made from grains.
  • Beer tastes like beer because they flavor it with hops.
  • They used to flavor beer with dandelions.
  • Ain’t that cute?
  • All beer is either ale or lager.
  • Ale is fermented at room temperature.
  • Lager is brewed and store cold.
  • Barleywine, bitter, porter, and stout are ales.
  • Pilsner and bock are lagers.
  • Most of the crap people drink in America is pale lager.
  • Mosft of the crap people drink in Ireland is dry stout.
  • Butterbeer isn’t real.
  • (Except actually I think it is, and I heard it tastes like cream soda)
  • Miruvor isn’t real, either, but it probably would taste like squash.
  • Ent-draught isn’t real, either, but shit, it would be awesome if it were.
  • Wine is made from fermented fruit juice, usually grapes.
  • Red wine is made from red grapes.
  • White wine is made from green grapes.
  • The name of the grape is the name of the wine (Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, Cabernet Sauvignon, and Merlot are all varieties of grape)
  • Unless you live in France.
  • In which case, the name of the place supersedes the name of the grape.
  • (for example: Burgundies are made in Burgundy, France, but Burgundy wine can be Pinot Noir or Chardonnay)
  • Champagne is any sparkling white wine.
  • However, Champagne can also be wine that comes from Champagne, France.
  • Drink red wine with beef. Drink white wine with fish.
  • Act like it tastes good. 
  • Keep a Diet Coke in your bag for later.
  • You’ll be fine.
  • Brandy is distilled wine.
  • Cognac is brandy aged in oak barrels.
  • Don’t fuck around with the French about their cognac.
  • Fortified wine is wine with added alcohol.
  • Sherry is fortified white wine made in Spain.
  • Port is fortified red wine made in Portugal.
  • Vermouth is fortified white wine plus grape spirits.
  • Sweet vermouth has added sugar.
  • Dry vermouth has added spices like nutmeg.
  • Liquors are distilled spirits that contain ethanol.
  • Liqueurs are liquors that have sugar and flavors added.
  • Liquors can be made from grains, fruits, or vegetables.
  • Grain alcohol is liquor made from grains. Duh.
  • Gin, Vodka, and Whisky are grain alcohols.
  • Vodka is grain alcohol and water.
  • Be careful with vodka. Homemade vodka is poisonous.
  • Gin is (basically vodka) flavored with juniper berries.
  • Absinthe is (basically gin) flavored with anise.
  • Whisky is grain alcohol aged in wood barrels.
  • Malt whisky is made from barley.
  • Grain whisky is made from all the other grains.
  • Scotch is whisky made in Scotland.
  • Bourbon is Kentucky whisky mostly made from corn.
  • Don’t fuck around with the Scottish.
  • Don’t fuck around with people from Kentucky, either.
  • Tequila is liquor made from the blue agave plant.
  • Rum is liquor made from sugarcane.
  • Schnapps is liquor made from fruit “must” (smashed fruit that still contains seeds and skins).
  • American schnapps is grain alcohol mixed with fruit flavors and sugar syrup.
  • Drink apple schnapps only while playing Tekken 2.
  • Sake is rice wine that’s brewed like beer. Or something.
  • Avoid these cocktails: Grog, Long Island Iced Tea, Manhattan, Dark and Stormy, Jack and Coke, Piña Colada, Scorpion. They contain huge amounts of alcohol and/or a huge number of calories. That Long Island Ice Tea is the worst motherfucker of the bunch. Just avoid them. Have a lemon drop martini instead.
  • Don’t drink on an empty stomach or you’ll puke.
  • Don’t drink too fast or you’ll puke.
  • Avoid Long Island Iced Teas. Like I said.
  • Don’t drink and drive because you might kill my Mom. You fuckers.
  • If your friend has had too much to drink and needs to crash, make sure she’s lying on her side so she doesn’t choke on her own vomit. 
  • Don’t leave a drunk friend alone.
  • Passing out is a sign of being severely goddamn sick. If someone drinks and passes out? They are dying right now. Call 9-1-1. 
  • If you are drunk, don’t drink coffee or caffeine to get sober. Sip cold water and nibble some saltine crackers.
  • Don’t be a fucking idiot. Don’t smash my mailbox.
  •  Now you know some stuff. Maybe.

♥

lesley

(via carryonmywaywardstirrup)

dissonantwalrus:

thisnamewasnottaken:

If you listen to Ziltoid backwards it’s an album about a guy who falls asleep and dreams of an alien who stops a war on Earth, vomits some fetid coffee and then goes home.

If you listen to Deconstruction backwards, it’s about a guy who is having a fight with the ghost of his past before moving on and running into a burger (which he just casually leaves behind) after which a giant ceremony involving Ziltoid ends with human beings changing their minds repeatedly about who they truly praise. This guy then hops on a train moving backwards out of hell while some dude named Juular becomes less angry sounding about what really ever bothered him, after which our protagonist ends up deciding to give up smoking, that, fucking, weeeeed in favour of soda water. Also, Joe Duplantier.

If you listen to Ocean Machine: Biomech backwards through your headphones and volume set all the way up, it’s about a heart attack-inducing shriek and then you can’t hear the rest of the album so who knows. RIP your eardrums. 

(via dissonantwalrus)

Source: orbitingziltoidia