Tonight I’m here to mention the strange and mystical powers of the octopus. Octopus therapy can be used in the treatment of depression and anxiety #FACT
Ancient civilianisation discovered this. No it’s true, come on, would I lie to you? As sure as I’m riding this Unicorn, Octopus therapy works. Next time one of your friends feels a little down, a bit saggy at the edges, try slapping them in the face with a 30 pound Enteroctopus dofleini, and I bet you things will start to improve from that point onwards
The funny thing about Octo-Therapy (to use it’s correct term) is that western doctors still don’t prescribe this treatment routinely in mainstream medicine. Sure we’ve all heard of Squid ink infusions for the treatment of chuckle valve rot, but still Octo-Therapy hasn’t hit our shores.
This ancient secret should be aired accordingly in medical journals worldwide, but probably will never be given due serious recognition, not since the great cephalopod debacle of 1879. In which Dr Hans Knees N.Bumpseedaisy, attempted a solo therapeutic insertion of our friendly mollusc in to an unsedated volunteer.
