- Academic text writer, cracking open Thesaurus: ha ha ha, try and get through THIS unreadable pile of boiling hot nonsense, fuckers
Source: banderboucher
Source: kiramartinauthor
discourse? uh no you’re thinking of discourse’s monster
Source: silkwurm
All in favor of a cowboy themed Ayreon album say aye.
I thought this was gonna be a real rick roll like I just spat out my drink I cannot believe
best thing
(via vivziepop)
Source: ifuckinglovedragons
When you eat a pineapple, it eats you back. Pineapples are the only known carriers of Bromelain, an enzyme that breaks down proteins. Since your body is made of proteins, the pineapples you eat are also trying to digest you. That’s why a fresh pineapple can turn your tongue into a sore piece of sandpaper. Source
(via monere-lluvia)
Source: didyouknowblog.com
business email glossary
- thanks in advance: get this done by the time i press "send"
- thanks for your interest: why'd you have to bring this up
- would you be so kind: fucking do it
- best: i have never physically met you
- all best: this conversation is over
- all my best: i wish you would die
- happy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox
- i hope this helps: i've done all i'm willing to do
- i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you're too lazy to
- sorry to chase: answer my email
- so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email
- i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me
- please contact my colleague: this isn't my problem
- i'm copying in my colleague: this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it
- i'll check and get back to you: i might forget to
- i'll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to
- can you check back with me in a week?: i'm hoping you will forget to
- per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone
- great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone
- thanks!: i'm not mad at you
- thanks!!: please don't be mad at me
- thanks!!!: i'm crying at my desk
- please advise: this might be your fault
- kindly advise: this is entirely your fault
- mind if i swing by?: i'm already in the elevator
- can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email
- sorry if that was unclear: i think you're an idiot
- let me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again
Source: maralie
Source: olivegarden







