Not a native speaker at all and I probably got a bunch of things wrong, but here it is:

Hey, this is Devin Townsend and I’d like to point out how the Ziltoid character is supposed to be a metaphor for the part of my personality that has not grown up since he was 15 years old. As if that wasn’t apparent…

My friends, if you are still listening there’s probably a good chance that you relate to this sort of toilet humour, adolescent sort of sexual innuendo joke. But at the end of the day, I think what I’m trying to discover through this entire process is the fact that this whole thing needs to be purged in order for me to move on creatively. That’s right. People have said to me, prior to all this, that what I’ve been trying to do through Retinal Circus or any of these other ideas sort of verged on this kind of humanistic, altruistic type of vibe and that’s not what I’m trying to do, really. The basic result of this creative purge for me is to be able to get to the end of it. I have no idea, all of this stuff, ultimately, makes no sense to me either, but it’s fun. I talk to people close to me that are of the female gender of the human species, and they’ve said to me that “this Ziltoid thing you do is actually really quite offensive”. But it isn’t offensive to me! I think it’s funny! I seem to not have a filter- that’s part of doing it, perhaps the whole point of doing it, is to learn in some way how to have a filter. Creative freedom is one of the true beauties of being human in my opinion, and however I do recognize how much I babble on and I prefer not to stop- the whole point is not having to stop, the whole point for me is being able to continue and see where it leads, whether or not it’s DTP, whether or not it’s Casualties of Cool, whether or not it’s Strapping Young Lad, Ziltoid, any of this, I have no idea. The bottom line, for me, really, is being able to not have any idea. And as the profile of what I do expands or as it becomes either a little more successful, visible or popular, the scrutiny comes to these things which up to this point have had no reason of being analyzed. You get left with the decision as to whether or not the fear of being seen as the person you really are is somebody that is worth standing up for and defending. Is that wrong? Because I don’t think it is. I think, ultimately, conquering one’s fear of either success or failure is the only thing that allows artistic growth. You can’t take for granted the fact that people have either an emotional investment or an emotional reaction to what you do, however, to engage in what other people’s reactions might be is just wrong. You might as well just take a ditch. What’s the point of continuing if you just can’t be honest? The whole idea is being honest, my friends. And yeah, this Ziltoid thing is really really childish. Totally. And here I am now, trying to figure out what I’m gonna do for the rest of these episodes I signed on to, oh my god, continuously thinking of things that are funny or amusing or whatever… however, it’s a fine line between childish sort of humour and true offensive content which is not my intention. I find it cathartic. Continuing becomes less and less of an appeal to me the more tight the parameters become. I think it comes down to anything that I’m forced to do I’m gonna have a problem continuing. And perhaps the part of the whole process is learning how to get past it. Am I gonna get past it? I don’t know. Thanks to TeamRock for the patience, though, really.