a rift

When I think of fun, I think ‘Oh you need to get away from yourself.’ When I used to smoke weed or whatever..I was really bad with things that numbed me, that’s the direction that I wanted to go. I wanted to go where I didn’t feel anything. So luckily I never started taking heroin or anything because it would’ve been great, I would’ve been fuckin’ ace at that until I died. So I know that there is a part of me that I have to keep a leash on because [when someone asks] ‘What do you wanna do for fun?’ I’m like, ‘I don’t wanna feel anything’. That’d be great.